My Cousin, Kohaku
by Souseiki
Summary: Discontinued. Kept for momento's sake. Only edited out long author's notes.
1. Prologue

"Thanks for visiting. I hope to see all of you tomorrow," Haruhi smiled, causing her departing guests to squee.

In Ouran Koukou (1), family lineage comes first. Money comes close second, if not tied for first place. In this school of the rich and glamorous, the students expect anything but average. Likewise, you should too. Anything out of the norm (in other words, the norm or above average of us commoners), will be dealt with promptly. Too bad that-

"HEY! Just introduce us already, dammit!"

"Takashi, did you hear something?" Hani tilted his head, nibbling on a piece of cake thoughtfully. The other senior shook his head, knowing full well what the authoress would do to the poor soul who came before cue.

Too bad that sometimes normality just doesn't give a crap and barges in anyway.

But hey, the following peoples' terms of normal just barely counts in our book. Most of them are in the same social circle as these rich bastards. The only difference is some of them are barely in the circle as well. Oh well, reality, insanity, and karma are gonna bite and kick both their asses anyways.

"HARU-CHAAAAN!" Said girl was practically tackled to the floor by an unknown (well to the rest of the host club anyway) male.

"Haru-Haru! Guess what? Haku-kun and Mani have a surprise for us!" the boy tried to tango her out of the room, but was stopped by the mega-father.

"Unhand my dau-I mean, er..._son_ this instant, you fiend! You have no right to kidnap-"

The black haired boy snorted, pulling Haruhi to his side, "You baka (2). Haruhi's a girl. My God you're stupid." While the King was sobbing in the corner, the real King walked up to the newcomer with the twins turning their heads in mild interest.

"Ootori Kyouya. Pleased to meet you," the Shadow King held out his hand, the stranger taking it. This served many purposes, mainly observation. As they shook hands, Kyouya noticed the boy had a gold watch on his right hand, properly trimmed nails, and a businessman's firm hand grip. He may have a uniform on but this proved that without a doubt the young man before him was indeed a student of wealth. Now to find out how he knew Haruhi was a girl and to silence him in any means possible...

The boy grinned, "Nice to meet you, Ootori-san. I'm Morita Moyashi (3), class 3-D. Anyway, Haru-Haru, would you rather the surprise be here or somewhere else because Mini-chan, Sara-chan, and I already agreed if you chose somewhere else, we'd kidnap you!"

"I knew it!" Tamaki jumped out from his corner grabbing the other by the collar, "Don't you dare touch my daughter with your vile hands or henchmen."

"Tama-tono, is that any way to talk to one of your best customers?" a girl followed by two others, skipped in with teary eyes. The girl was a blond named Minimee "Mini-chan" Isaneko (4), 3-A, and was indeed one of their best customers. She wore the basic high school uniform, plus a white stole and a white obi with the English letter "M" cut with a line in the middle (in other words, looks like this somewhat: l\l/l.) Mini had big blue eyes, forehead bangs with chin-length side bangs, the rest of her hair fell behind her back, and a black ribbon holding it together.

Behind her, another usual customer, Sayuusuki "Sayuu" Chizu(4), 2-C, and a rumored commoner who was usually seen in company with the other. She had short black hair with thin side bangs, squinted grey green eyes surrounded by black eye shadow and eyeliner, and her signature pale pink hat topping things off. Other than the sleeves of her dress being cut off, revealing tight black long-sleeves, and the bottom portion of the dress being thinner and swishy verses heavy and poufy, she too wore the standard uniform. On her neck was a thin wire choker.

In their records, Mini's file revealed that she was the co-heiress of the Minimee Firearms Corps, a skilled markswoman, was disciplined in several martial arts advanced basics (her strongest were juujutsu and aikido), and loved anpan(5). Her most preferred Host was Hani and had unknown (excluding Kyouya, of course) connections with each other. As for her companion, Sayuu, she too was one of Hani's regulars but was usually just seen keeping her small friend company on their visits and reading a book rather than actually interacting with her Host. When Kyouya tried to access her public files 'for strictly business' (face it, he just doesn't like the fact he lacks information on anyone), he found everything but her status (commoner) locked, particularly her lineage and other connections. Even trivial information such as her birthday was locked, requiring password and authorization.

The last girl had curly reddish-blond hair, thin olive shaped blue eyes, and wore a St. Roberia Girls Academy uniform(6). She too, like the first boy, was clearly somewhat connected to wealth, unlike the black haired girl beside her. The only difference between her and the two was that she clearly was more influential by her confident stance and wealthier judging by the complicated design of her diamond brooch. Comparing their heights, Sayuu (who looked roughly Mori's height minus several centimeters) was clearly the taller of the two, the strawberry being to her nose level, and Mini being to her shoulders.

"Hiya, Isa-chan! You and Zuzu-chan haven't visited in weeks! I didn't know you knew Haru-chan. Did you know that, Takashi?" Hani looked up at his taller cousin, who shook his head again.

Mini waved, "Hiya, Hani-kun! Sorry Chizu-chan and I haven't visited you in a while. We were tied up with our own clubs. If I had known Haru-chan joined the club much less our school, I would have visited you every day! But Haku-kun's so mean for not telling us and keeping us away from you. We'll get back at that meanie later," She giggled then turned to Haruhi with big sparkling eyes, "Haru-chan, why didn't you tell us you were in school with us? We would have gotten you to join _our_ club."

The Roberia girl rolled her eyes, "Haku-kun obviously knows. You even said it yourself. Mani and Haku were the ones who said to meet here and kidnap her if necessary-ah! Moya-kun! St-stop tickling m-me!" She laughed while being pounced by the boy. This left Haruhi some breathing room (finally) before being bombarded with shouts of "My daughter! My daughter!" by Tamaki. She struggled away from him, before speaking to Sayuu.

"Haku-itoko told you I was here? But-"

"Haruhi, we didn't know you had a cousin! What's he like?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked.

"Turn around and you might find out what _she's _like," they heard a sarcastic voice along with the cheers of "Haku-kun!" and "Mani-kun!" behind them. The host club turned to a girl with a hairstyle similar to Haruhi's except sharper, darker, and slightly longer, along with two odango hair buns. She wore thin rectangle glasses and a mix between the high school girls and boys uniform. Like her cousin, she too wore the boys' top, except it was black with a yellow long shirt underneath. The shirt looked more like a dress that ended halfway down her upper leg, with light yellow pedal pushers ending just above the knees, and white knee high socks concluded her outfit. The most notable difference between her and Haruhi were their eyes: Haruhi had big brown shimmering baby eyes, whereas this other girl had small dark analyzing snake eye.

The boy beside her was clearly of Spanish descent but clashed with his Japanese genes handsomely. His shaggy light brown hair was short enough to stick up at some points, but long enough to frame his face and not hide his light brown eyes. (Imagine Fujiwara Tatsuya's hair when he played Light/Raito in the Death Note movie.) Out of everyone in the room, he was the only one not in Ouran uniform, but judging by the strangers' and Haruhi's reactions, he was a friend at least. So, Kyouya decided, he'd just watch from afar for now. All of Haruhi's guests might prove interesting, if not profitable, for him. As for the one not in uniform, if he caused any trouble or disturbance, he could call security in an instant.

The girl named 'Haku' was nibbling on a chocolate bar, scanning the room. Moya was being well _Moya _and tickling Sara, Mini and Sayuu were watching them along with their friend she called Chibisuke in her head, and twins were bombarding her cousin...oh and a blue eyed idiot was ranting about something involving 'stranger danger', 'my daughter's friends', and 'stop molesting Haruhi you scoundrels'! 'Haku''s eye twitched. _All they were supposed to do was get her after the club ended. I should have never told them she goes to school here and just got her myself. Damn and all of this for a reunion. Haruhi better appreciate this because I'm getting pissed off._

'Haku' cleared her throat, "Everybody, be quiet. Hitachiin-sama and Kaoru-sama, please get the away from my cousin. Suou-sama, could you please stop yelling pointlessly at them as not only Haruhi-itoko but myself think it is a waste of breath. Sayuu and Mini-senpai, could you please get Moya-kun off of Sara before she kills him." She paused, "Speaking of which, Sara, what are you doing here? I told you to come later since your school-"

"Let's talk about that later," Sara grinned nervously, quickly changing the subject, "I wanted to see the surprise too, so I hurried over here. Besides, I think Haru-chan should introduce us to her friends."

Haruhi and 'Haku' sweat-dropped, "_Don't change the subject. But you're right._"

Haruhi turned to the Host Club, "Guys, these are my friends. Clearly you know Mini-senpai and Sayuu-senpai, so no need to introduce them-"

"That was a nice way of putting it," the blonde who was tickled by Moya smirked. She then proceeded to walk over to Haruhi, put her arms around her, and use the top of her head as a pillow. Haruhi regarded this with little concern and continued.

"-and this is Shimazu Sakira(7), but Sara prefers her nickname only. She goes to another school, but is in the same year as Tamaki-senpai and Kyouya-senpai. Um...Moya-kun already introduced himself to you. The one he's currently trying to give a bear hug to is Baleia-I mean Varela Ma...Maanure-wait no, Manuel(8). Sumimasen(9) for butchering your name again. Anyway, we call him Mani-kun mainly because I don't have much of a talent for speaking Spanish. And finally, my cousin Sonata Kohaku(10). She and Sayuu are in the same class," she took a breath and continued, "But call her 'Haku' because it pisses her off."

"Love you too, oh sweet Hihi-itoko of mine," Kohaku smiled, both cousins giving each other overly-cheerful scary looks.

Mini giggled, "It's really funny how the last part of Haru-chan's name doubled spells 'baboon' and the first part of Haku-kun's name doesn't really mean anything, so Haru-chan can only make a lame comeback like 'Koko-nee'." The girl turned to the others, "Its okay. They're not really mad at each other; it's just a cousin spat."

Sara nodded, snuggling her head into Haruhi's hair, "Yeah, they just bitch at each other for the heck of it. Anyway, what's the surprise, Ayatsuri-hime? I wanna spend the rest of the day with Haru-chan. I haven't been down here in a long time. And it's so _boring_!"

Finishing her chocolate bar, Kohaku got another one from her briefcase and opened another, putting the wrapper in her pocket, "If I'm a Puppet Princess, then you're an aisu-kisaki, Ice Queen. Anyways, beside that is beside the point. Ready, Mani?"

Mani, finally speaking, grinned and shook off Moya, "Back from our abuela's mountain home, presenting, Varela "Emi" Emelinaaaaa-ow(11)! Kohaku! I only stretched out her name. You didn't have to hit me-"

A girl dressed in rather bizarre clothes burst through the doors, squealing, "Haru-chan! Sara-chan!" Finding her targets, she tackled them to the floor, she began splurting out a mix of Spanish and Japanese. "Chica, you cut you hair? But it looks kawaii anyway, 'cept the boyish look so doesn't suit you. Mini-senpai and I will fix that. Sakira, guess what I bought for you in Matsumoto and Takayama. You owe me big time considering how I had to hike down from Hotakadake! So-"(12)

Meanwhile, the Host Club just stared, while the rest of the occupants of the room laughed. Kohaku had a camera out, taking pictures of the jumbled trio, "All of you pay up. Told you she'd dive for those two first."

Upon hearing this, all three girls stopped talking and stood up, the newcomer glaring at Kohaku, "I've been in your presence in only about half and minute and you're already putting bets on me. Meanie, all of you better give me a hug now! Well, except the strangers...who are they?" Emi tilted her head, staring at a bug-eyed -idiotic looking- blonde, expressionless -creepy- megane(12), another -chibi- blonde, a tall -handsome- boy by his side, and twins?! _Oh...my...God..._

"YOU GUYS JOINED A MALE HAREM WITHOUT ME?! Waaa! I wanted to be a gosurori! Ow! And now you're hitting me too, Haku!" Emi stuck out her tongue at the other girl. Kohaku rolled her eyes, muttering something about a bad idea.

"Emi, in no way did any of us join, hire, rent, set up, form, or -whatever else you're thinking- a male harem...or plan to for that matter. They're just some people from Haruhi's club. Besides, Sara already called dibs on Goth Lolita in the event we do something as stupid as that," Kohaku shrugged. Clearly this is where Haruhi got her blunt honesty from. The Host Club members were not 'just some people', they were rich, dammit!

Tamaki then (tried) making this point by being dramatic as possible (the flowers are being added to Haruhi's debt since they are _her_ friends after all). "My dear Kohaku-hime surely you must be mistaken. For we are not merely some people. My companions and I make up the-"

"Host Club. Blah, and then you tell me what types you are. Am I correct?" Kohaku smiled, swatting the irritating petals from her face, "Haruhi's told me about you, rather reluctantly unfortunately. But I guess this is as good as any time to ask why she is in the Host Club in the first place. I asked her if she wanted to be in a club with me but she refused me, not even bothering with an explanation."

Kyouya chose this time to step in, "How about we discuss this over some tea, Sonata-san? I shall explain everything while your friends can catch up with each other and maybe even get to know the rest of the Host Club." He then put forward his hand.

Kohaku stared before holding out her own hand, shaking his firmly, "Hm, hoping to reel in some of my other friends to visit regularly as well? Smart business sense, Ootori-sama. Sure why not? So, tell me from the beginning..."


	2. The Informal Type

The brunette shook her head before setting her cup down, "Haru-itoko, you idiot. Why didn't you just ask me or anyone else from the group to loan you some money? We would have gladly pitched in and-"

"Because if you alone gave me the money, you'd work me to the bone until I died, then sell my soul the second it loses your interest. On the other hand, if the others participated, Mini-senpai would make me try out all her designs using me as a live mannequin, Moya-kun would make me model for his sculptures, and Sara would make me her new doll," Haruhi stated bluntly without hesitation. One male and two females dropped dead, having been accused of such a (plausible) crime.

Kohaku stared back at her cousin point blank, "Don't be ridiculous. I don't believe in 'selling people souls'. Showcasing your ghost would make a steadier flow of money, since I can only sell your soul once. On the other hand, I can pick a variety of acts your ghost can do thus branching out my earning in various fields. Hypothetically speaking, of course."

Sara (after dusting herself off) and Emi glomped Haruhi smiling, "_We'd never sell you, Haru-chan..._" Then Sara added on an afterthought, "Buy you maybe." This earned her a kick in the shin by the newly risen Mini, with Sayuu avoiding eye contact with her looking very disappointed. "You know I didn't mean it like that! Come on, Sayuu-chan. And don't kick me you little midget!"

This sparked the third argument so far in the past ten minutes. Hikaru sweat-dropped, whispering to Emi, "Do they like this all the time?"

By now, the twins had accepted her preferred style, seeing the finer points of it. Emi wore a black ballerina skirt with white skinny jeans underneath. The sleeves of her loose black shirt ended at her elbows, a purple tank top over it. She could have easily passed off as a sane person with a possible fairy/ballerina fetish if it wasn't for her hair. The left side of her hair was dark fuchsia and the right was bright chartreuse. Not only that, but each side had a small pigtail, leaving the rest of the hair down.

Emi shook her head, "I don't know, really. Before, they did, but I've been away for about two years so I hoped they'd stopped fighting by now. I can stop them though if you want."

"Gladly and much appreciated," Kyouya gave his permission. The Shadow King saw future business opportunities, therefore did not want to lose either of them if he himself interfered. He had found out Sara's family was very influential and well-connected in many different branches of business. Her father was a former athlete, CEO of a small but successful bank chain, and is the most requested trainer for (possibly future) sakkaa (soccer/football) players in Japan. The mother was half-Japanese half-Italian, a former triple threat dancer/singer/actress, and the current head of the Pavoni(1) empire of the fine arts.

Emi sighed dramatically and pouted, "Aw, are you guys _still _fighting after all these years? Does that mean every time Mani-kun and I see you in the halls, we're gonna have to drag you apart?"

"Sara-baka doesn't go here, thank goodness," Mini stuck her tongue out at said girl, "Besides, Sayuu wi-wait, did you say you and Mani-kun are..."

She trailed off, eyes wide, and glomped Emi. Sara hugged the thin girl as well, congratulating her, "But how did you get th-"

"Papa's business back at Spain finally hit it off," Emi grinned as she dug herself out of the second dog pile of the day, "So he's making Mani and me go here for a 'better education'. Personally, I wanted to go to Kaibara(2) with the others. But no-o, only Beni gets to go to public school because it'd 'be easier for her and she'll be in middle school with her friends'. Come on I-"

Kohaku stared at Sara, "You made her start ranting again. Make her stop, please."

The other girl nodded, already having some of her own news to tell as well. She wrapped her arm around Emi's shoulder and with her other hand, lifted up her chin and successfully shut the other girl up. "Emi-chan, you do know what this means, right?" her persona changing from excited to distressed, "You'll be in a new environment, with fellow schoolmates giving you strangle looks for being _nouvelle riche._ I myself would do the same with any other commoner who suddenly became rich with no lineage whatsoever, but you're a very close friend of mine. So, with that I shall help you."

She spun the girl around and ended up holding one of Emi's hands in her own, "How, you ask?" Meanwhile, the ones watching the spectacle and have seen this happen many times before rolled their eyes, _She's trying to make whatever this is bigger than it should be..._As for the Host Club, it was like watching a mix of Tamaki's routine and the twins at once. A girl being dazzled by theatrics and borderline homosexuality in one.

"Why, I'll defend you personally of course!" Sara clapped and let go of Emi's hand, "To get here on time for Haru-chan's mystery surprise, I snuck out of school early, got caught, and was expelled! Isn't that great? I can go here now instead with you and the others. Plus, we can visit Haru-chan here and help her pay her debt. And to think, I was ashamed of myself for getting expelled a mere fifteen minutes ago. The positives of this really outweigh the negatives, don't you think?"

The smiling girl was met with awkward stares from the Host Club, a few disappointed looks, and several exasperated looks. Those were expected. Only Emi and two brunette cousins did not look at her that way. Okay, true Emi looked guilty for indirectly getting her friend expelled, but she wasn't mad right? As for Kohaku, she was crushing a chocolate wrapper in her fist, muttering, "Here you go again, Sakira. Never thinking things through."

Haruhi glanced at the others before speaking up, "I really don't think getting expelling is something to smile about, Sara-senpai. But still, I'm happy you and Emi are going to school here too. You don't have to come here though. There's enough chaos in the club without you two."

"But," Kyouya decided to intervene, "That does not mean we would not appreciate your company. Please feel free to visit Haruhi any time you wish during club hours. Speaking of which, please do not mention her gender in front of others. As I told you, if others found out her gender, profits would certainly drop."

Sara and Emi pouted about the gender part then grinned, _"Oh well. That just means we can hug you anytime we want and you can't slap us away or it'd look rude!"_

_Few weeks later..._

Sara and Emi had adjusted to Ouran quite nicely. Emi, despite being _nouvelle riche_, had made a few friends in 1-D but had gotten in trouble for her uniform since she made too many outrageous changes to it. Okay, fine she admits the studded evening gloves were a bit much. It was the same with Sara, who insisted on wearing her old school uniform before being convinced that she could a red version of the high school uniform with a cape collar. As for friends in 2-A, she made them rather quickly along with several proposals as her future business partners.

Besides those two, only Mini would go with them to the Host Club. Sayuu only went to keep Mini company and once she saw that Mini was safe with the other two, left her with them. Like before, when she knew her cousin went to Ouran and joined the Host Club, Kohaku didn't visit her during club hours. However, she now started picking her up at the end of after school club hours along with the others.

One day, she found the Host Club and her female friends (Mani and Moya had a fear someone would call them gay if they were seen with the Host Club) sitting down, telling them stories of another host.

"Hey, tono. Isn't Ikky's coming back today?" the twins asked, sitting down after helping Haruhi place some towels on the high shelf.

Kyouya nodded, absorbed in his notebook while Tamaki grinned stupidly. "That scoundrel. Back from his extended stay at Venice. He shouldn't skip school like that. Education is important!" He then turned to Haruhi to give an explanation (that she didn't ask for), "You see, Haruhi, your brother Ikkatsu is our club's Informal type. Would have taken the Little Devils and Cool type if Kyouya, Hikaru, and Kaoru didn't have them already."

Mini clapped her hands, "Yay! And he'll see Haru-chan too. It'll be like old times again when we were in middle school during vacation!"

"Huh?" Haruhi tilted her head, "I know him? But the only Ikkatsu I know is-"

"Hello, this is Tategami Ikkatsu(3) back from Venice! I'm so happy many of you were considerate enough to wait for me so late after school," a dirty blonde haired boy in the high school uniform minus the blazer strolled in with his arms open wide, stopping abruptly in front of Kohaku, who was seated on the edge of the couch with a Pirouline stick can in hand. He grinned, blue eye twinkling, "Couldn't stay away from me that long, could you my sweet-"

He was interrupted by the brunette's foot contacting with his shin. "Tami-kun, how many times do I have to tell you to please refrain from doing crap like this in front of Haru-itoko. I'd like her to be a member that can give and take 'no' for an answer, thank you very much."

The boy's face (after wincing in pain) blanked in confusion, "Nani? Haru-chan's here? Where? I WANNA GLOMP HER!" Without mercy, Kohaku pointed at her cousin, who was sitting in between Sara and Emi. "Sara-chan, Emi-chan, Haru-chan! You're all here?!" Ikkatsu hugged his three friends, two hugging back and one just wanting all this dog piling to stop.

"Ikkatsu! Stop molesting your sister this instant!" Tamaki raged, waving his hands (in the ayer, a-ayer, a-yer). Ikkatsu looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'sister'? You only call people like that in the Host Club..." he trailed off, eyes wide and turned to Haruhi, "Haku-kun actually paid your tuition and told you to visit me in the club? She really did pay attention to my wish list this year! Arigatou Haku-ku-OW!"

Kohaku exercised her wrist, "She's on scholarship, so she'll be in the same class as you. Also, long story short, Haruhi's a host like you. Ask Ootori-sama for the details because I don't want my baby cousin to be the Host Club members' personal maid if you make a slip up." She then added under her breath, "I still think she should have asked us for a loan."

"Ikka-kun," Hani looked up from a piece of cake, "How do you know Haru-chan and her friends?" He had voiced out a question that everyone in the Host Club, particularly Kyouya, wanted to know. In fact, how did Haruhi know so many of these rich females? Luckily, a few of the females heard the underlining question and one bothered to answer.

Sayuu answered softly, "Because of Kohaku-chan. I met her in third grade when we use to attend public school. This in turn, introduced her to Isaneko-sama. In fourth grade, Emi's family moved here from Spain and her Beni-imouto-san met my Tsunaya-imotou in their second year. Mani-senpai met Moya-senpai in school the same year and introduced us to each other. Then in fifth grade, Sara was introduced to us by Ikkatsu-san who we met through Kohaku's friend, Nekozawa-senpai, the same ye-"(5)

"Nekozawa, as in Umehito Nekozawa?!" Tamaki shrieked, "That-"

Kohaku stood up and walked briskly towards the blond, an eerie miasma suddenly surrounding her, "Suou-sama, surely you were not about to insult Ume-kun(6), were you? One of my dearest friends, who upon hearing that you request a visit might decide to pop in and do so?"

Tamaki was reduced to sitting in his corner, eyes wide as head lights. Haruhi turned to her cousin, "Oh, is this what you mean when you say Nekozawa-senpai scares almost everyone at school? But I still don't see why. He taught me how to shoot a gun and gave you Midori(7). Compared to all of the other rich bastards I've met, he's the nicest and most polite."

Hearing the words 'rich bastard' coming from his daughter's lips, Tamaki promptly fell over and sobbed. "Haruhi! You're so mean to daddy! Okaa-san(8), tell our daughter to apologize to me!"

The Shadow King didn't bother looking up from his laptop, "Not a chance, Tamaki. As for Nekozawa-senpai being your acquaintance, he won't let out your little secret, right Haruhi?"

Her cousin responded for her, munching on a Pirouline stick, "I told Ume-kun about Haruhi's little situation and _how she's refusing help from her friends and relatives_. Besides, I already asked him a few months back when Haruhi started going here not to interact with her because I didn't want any trouble for her."

"What trouble would she run into anyway if she knew someone rich?" the twins stated blandly, their eyebrows in a straight line.

Emi yawned and put her arm around Ikkatsu's shoulders, "When Haku-kun says she doesn't want any trouble, it's either for someone she cares about, for her own selfish needs, or her paranoia. Or a combination of the three. Either way," she and Ikkatsu teased, "_She scares little children with her evil ways!_"

This earned both of them a hit in the head by Kohaku's folding fan(9).

"Just because both of you are back from an extended trip doesn't mean I'm putting up with your crap," Kohaku snapped, refolding her fan and returning it to the sleeve of her blazer.

* * *

**Omake 1: **Nihañol (Spapenese)

"Hola, señor Hitachiin. Hi, Hitachiin-san," Emi repeated in Japanese slowly to her hosts. _Maybe trying to teach Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun Spanish wasn't such a good idea..._ the green and purple haired girl thought as she watched the twins before her try and say hello to each other.

Sara read the look on her friend's face and shook her head, "Emi-chan, they want to learn the language of love. Amore, amor, amour! Don't hold them back from something they truly need. Brotherly love is their act after all."

Haruhi returned the trays and dishes into the right cupboard before flatly stating, "I'm pretty sure saying hello to each other and stating their name isn't that romantic."

Hikaru glanced at Kaoru, both grinning, "Are you sure, Haruhi?"

Sayuu walked into the Third Music Room and saw a sight she did not wish to see:

"Ohra, seniohr Hitachiin," one of the twins rested his head gently on the other's. "Ohra, ermannou," the second said, wrapping his arms dangerously below his brother's waist line.

Emi blinked, "You need to work on your accents. But other than that and mispronouncing 'hermano' somewhat, you guys were great!" She and Sara each gave them thumbs ups, while Sayuu slowly walked away, dragging Mini with her.


	3. Take a Gamble

"Oi! Sayuu! Wait up," Kohaku waved to the taller girl, taking quick strides to catch up with her. It really didn't help that Sayuu was much taller than her and she herself was barely above her cousin's height. The pink hatted one paused in mid-step and turned, smiling softly.

"Ara(1)...hi Kohaku-chan. What silly theme do you think they're packing up right now?" the black haired girl mused, playing with her necklace absent-mindedly. The shorter girl shrugged, staring at the approaching door with little interest.

"Like you said," Kohaku sighed as she turned the doorknob, "Something silly and stu-"

Both girls blinked at the site before them.

_Eh?! _Both juniors looked at the pitiful soul stuffing himself full of ramen. _Wow...he's actually eating the instant kind, _Kohaku was mildly impressed since on her first day at Ouran when she bought lunch was very disappointed to not find any vending machines or her favorite instant ramen. And it didn't help the fact that when a scholarship student with a similar predicament asked where he could find one, was mocked, and never seen on campus again.

"Anou(2)...Tamaki-san?" Sayuu approached the blonde slowly, "Are you feeling alright? Eating that much ramen at that speed will either make you choke now or develop stomach cancer later."

He continued eating away at his life-I mean ramen.

"Ah, don't mind him, Sayuu-chan, He's just depressed," Hikaru and Kaoru waved their hands carelessly towards Tamaki.

Emi shook her head, "Nah, I wouldn't call it depression. More like-"

"Someone's jea_-lous_," Sara sang, wrapping her arm around Emi's shoulder and Ikkatsu's waist, the trio nodding in agreement. At this comment, the King choked on his ramen with a bright blush on his cheeks. Yeah, that blush is the sign of an angry father, not a jealous blonde boy..._right_.

The two newcomers turned to Mini for an explanation. Mini took a bite out of an anpan bun as she explained, "Tama-chama's mad because Kana-chan switched to Haru-chan! She usually switches hosts once in a while, but I think that's kinda mean of her to do that. But still, Kana-chan is really nice though. I had cake with her and Hani-kun once!" This cleared things up for Haruhi as well, nodding her head.

"Oh, I see. It's because Kanako-san chose me as her new host-"

"THAT'S NOT IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Haruhi, wear girl clothes now!" Tamaki demanded, that idiotic demented flare blazing in his eyes.

"Huh?" Haruhi gulped, her inner Tamaki's-going-to-make-me-do-something-stupid alarm ringing in her head. Meanwhile, most of the club and after-club guests went into their own little conversations.

"Kana-chan as in Kasugazaki Kanako, Mini-senpai? Hm, she's in our class, right Sayuu?" Kohaku tilted her head. Her senior and her equal sitting beside her nodded but then backed away as Tamaki suddenly dragged her away from her two friends, carrying a picture.

"Daddy wants to see you looking like this again!" Tamaki shoved an enlarged picture of Haruhi in her ninth year before bringing her cousin as Example B (and completely ignoring both females' protests). "And look at your Kohaku-itoko! She wears a dress and you two look alike so you'll look-"

"Tamaki-senpai, Haku-kun wears a long yellow tank top, not a sundress," Haruhi pointed out, "Technically, it's not that feminine. She hates wearing dresses and skirts anyway. To be honest, she doesn't wear many girly things; she's more business oriented. The most feminine thing about her is her lipstick." All the females and Ikkatsu all nodded in agreement. Kohaku made a face, playing with her sleeves in irritation.

"Her hair," Kaoru pointed and a background of mice and pandas suddenly appeared behind her, "She has a stylish hairstyle and keeps it long."

Hikaru nodded and held Haruhi's picture for a closer inspection, "I still don't how this-" he paused and gestured to the frame, "Became this." And pointed towards Haruhi's general direction.

Kohaku (finally) got out of Tamaki's grip, "The neighbor's son put some gum in her hair, she cut it herself, Ranka-oji stepped on her contacts, and I accidentally lost the spare she told me to keep for her." She stared at her former captor and the two redheads weeping before her. _They took it worse than Emi and Sara did... Emi practically killed me for ruining 'such fine hair,' and Sara begged Haruhi to consider extensions._

The four-eyed girl and the others not really caring about the drama before them were so wrapped up in their thoughts and conversations, it took Tamaki screaming, "A girl can't refer to herself as 'ore'! OKAA-SAN, OUR DAUGHTER SAID A BAD WORD!"

Next thing everybody knew, the poor female host was being struck by invisible lightning, being forced to attend the upcoming Christmas Party, and offered half her debt paid off if she learned to waltz within a week.

* * *

**OC's Omake 1:** Kohaku- Page Skipper

"Really smooth on skipping about two pages worth of dialogue," Kohaku rolled her eyes, knowing full well if she pushed her luck any further, would be deleted and killed, then be forced to say unnecessary lines just so she and her group would fit with the original manga's plot.

**Owari**

* * *

_After Nurse's Office Incident..._

Ikkatsu rested his chin on his hand, "Aw man, I didn't get a turn! Haruhi, they're so mean to _meeee_!" He clung to Haruhi and sobbed before being yanked away from Tamaki for 'molesting his daughter and your sister'.

"What else is there to contribute? Kasuga-san's an outgoing person who's parents arranged to be married to a boring smart guy name Suzushima Tohru," the twins said in perfectly scary unison. Ikkatsu muttered something about 'info hogs' while watching the twins give Haruhi a hint about the couple.

When the mid-school club hours were over, he walked with Haruhi to the computer library (which was surprisingly somewhat empty).

He took a seat beside her and stretched, "Hey, Haru, you think Tamaki's plan is actually gonna work?" Ikkatsu watched in mild interest as she typed 'Suzushima' on the search bar. He already knew what words would come up before the page finished loading. "Suzushima-Tableware Importers."

Ikkatsu smirked, "Haru-chan, you do know your _entire_ part of this scheme, right?"

She continued looking up several other things (might as well get some homework done) and answered absent-mindedly, "I talk to Kanako during the party, dress up in whatever get-up you, Hikaru, and Kaoru shove me in, meet Tohru-senpai in the room his letter states, and try to persuade him not to move and be more assertive."

"Wow, you make it sounds so simple. I guess you haven't been with the Host Club long enough," the brunette laughed, ruffling up the other brunette's hair, "Kyouya, or as you correctly state 'the Shadow King', 'helped' (_more like injected his ideas into Tamaki, thus making Tamaki believe them to be his own and be more likely to act upon them_) Tamaki plan this, don't forget. Plus, he has two future associates at stake and this party reflects on him as the vice president of the club. Just be careful at what he throws at you, 'kay? Kohaku would kick my ass if I let anything bad happen to you."(4)

_At the Christmas Party..._

"...Open the door."

The small group sweat-dropped, glad that the long intro was finally over.

"_And all of that to open a damn door. Jeez..._" the Varela siblings grumbled under their breaths. Others who weren't their friends gossiped instantly about poor people's ignorance. _Speak for yourselves, you stuck up snobby little-._

"Emi-chan, Mani-kun, I thought you two promised not to make a scene," Mini scolded them on their lack of etiquette, Sara nodding in agreement as they walked around the room. They were friends and all, but these were the basics!(5)

"Emi-Emi, you have the class certainly. You just don't have the mannerism. If-"

Kohaku told her to shut it by hitting the girl with her purse. "Sara, you hypocrite. You were born with wealth, yet you lack any sane interests to keep any guest in their comfort zone and have enough compassion to barely fill up a caviar spoon."

Sara bursts into chibi tears and went to Moya for comfort.

"You should talk, Haku!" Emi defended her friend (who moments before said she had the social class of a drunk), "And why did you come with us anyway? To insult us?"

"Probably to make sure no body hits on her cousin. Especially from that blonde baka," Moya stated flatly, patting Sara on the back. The group turned to the hosts, in time to see the Hitachiin twins offer a kiss from Tamaki and a dance with one of the club members each as the reward for the night's top game point earners.

"Let's get some chips," Kohaku said shortly, striding towards the poker table.

"She really doesn't want anyone touching Haruhi, does she?"  
"...Creepy, but sweet."(6)

* * *

A basket full of chips in hand, Kohaku walked over to the Host Club by the card table.

When she was within sight, Tamaki pounced on her exclaiming, "How could you leave your sweet, defenseless cousin alone during the holidays, you monster! While her otou-san worked tirelessly to make ends meet, you were waiting for midnight to come with your otou-san, okaa-san, and siblings not even bothering to keep her company-"

Haruhi cut him off with her demon glare, "Tamaki-senpai. Shut. Up. **Now**."

The king shrank back in fear, waiting for the next brunette's verbal beating to start.

Said girl shook her head, "Haruhi, it's okay. He's ignorant, so of course he has the momentary right to shoot his mouth off." Kohaku turned to Tamaki and explained matter-of-factly, "For starters, my otou-san's with Kotoko-oba-san in Heaven. Second, I live near Haruhi and Ranka-ji, so she and I usually watch anime or whatever she makes me watch during the holidays. I hated watching Katoh's Family Dinner Table Christmas Special though. It's too-"

Tamaki took her hand, eyes glistening with tears, "I'm so sorry for misjudging you, Kohaku-hime! Please accept my apology for not knowing your papa passed away and my insensitivity for not asking if you too watch Katoh's Family Dinner Spe..."

"Please let go of my hands..." Kohaku pried her hands out of his death grip, "It's fine, Suou-sama. Anyway, I didn't walk over here to talk. I came here to win the dance for my cousin so no perverted ignorant female schoolmate of mine would. So, who am I playing?"

Kyouya stepped forward and smirked as he shuffled a deck in his hands, "I will, Sonata-san. What card game do you prefer?"

"Blackjack," she stated taking a seat on the table, concentrating on winning and nothing else. Behind her, she faintly heard the screams of ootoro and warily glanced at the black haired male on the dealer's seat make an order for some sushi.

* * *

Mani and Emi had identical scowls on their face. This is _so _not their idea of a good time. And no, the fact that they're crappy gamblers and have bad karma is not related to this at all. They watched in boredom as Sara and Moya, each carrying four times the amount of chips they originally bought, walk past them to the blackjack table Kohaku had been sitting in for most of the party. It wouldn't hurt to add she had a similar stack like the other two with her.

_What are they, gambling machines? _Both siblings sweat-dropped.

"Hey, Emi! Mani! What's with the long faces?"

All the twins got for their troubles were two pairs of browns eyes glaring at them.

"I'm not a fancy party person type and Mani is getting sick of the stares the other guests are giving him for being the only guy here," Emi decided not to count Moya and gave them one last irritated look before turning away.

_If looks could kill..._the Hitachiin twins decided it was wise not to push their buttons. Well, tonight anyway. When their most interesting customer was in a less foul mood...(7)

* * *

"Hani-kun! Mori-kun! Chizu-chan, I found them!" Mini dragged the younger (ahem, _taller_) girl to the two hosts. Both hosts turned to the sounds of their names.

Hani was by the desserts, devouring some cake (and yes, I mean devour, considering there were at least ten used plates stacked neatly beside him). His cousin was a few meters away from him, attending to the roulette table.

The taller two smiled at each other in silent greeting, watching the two blondes interact with each other, chatting about dessert preference. "Anou...Mori-senpai, may I try? I don't know how to play, but Isaneko-sama wants me to help her earn points to dance with Hani-senpai. The least I can do is do my best and-"

"That's a no-no, Sayuu-san," Hikaru and Kaoru sang, coming from who knows where, "'Points are nontransferable and anyone found breaking this rule will be disqualified." Sayuu blushed in embarrassment and bowed her head in respect. She was about to apologize before Hikaru cut her off.

"But we understand the need of fulfilling the wants of someone who's dear to you," the older twin held his younger brother's by the waist and stroked his chin with a finger, "Don't we Kaoru?" Nearby guests fainted from the spectacle.

Kaoru nodded, "I-I understand, but don't this in front of others, Hikaru. Don't you care about their comfort? Hi-"

He was silenced by his brother's finger pressing softly to his lips, "The only comfort I care about in this world is yours, Kaoru. So, shall we let this one slip for now?" Someone's hand decided to slip a few centimeters down at that moment too.

All guest within a four meter radius fainted with flushed faces.(8)

* * *

"Twenty-one again?!" Sara exclaimed, "Moya-kun, you rigged this didn't you?"

Moya shrugged, scooping up his winnings. Kohaku shook her head, "You want to win that dance, too, don't you? Oh well, if worse comes to worst, you can dance with Haruhi in my place. Better you than those harpies."

Behind them, several females formed together, gossiping about a possible yaoi pairing. _Mystery gambler with innocent Haruhi-kun...Dangerous! And so MOE! And wait, did that Class B girl just insult me?! And she does not own sweet Haruhi-kun!_

Sara scrunched up her eyes, "Why do I have that strange feeling stupidity is near us?"

"Kyouya! Are we ready yet?" Hikaru and Kaoru bounded forward from the roulette table, with Hani and Mori walking behind them and Ikkatsu perking up from his spot nearby, having some drinks with the guests.

The Shadow King nodded, putting down a Queen of Diamonds and Ace of Spades. "Yes, I think we are," he stood up and let one of the substitutes take over for him, "Is everything set?" The three occupants from the table heard him ask as he walked further away.

"All we need to do it get..." and the last remaining words faded into the crowd.

"Okay, now _I_ have the feeling of stupidity among us," Kohaku sweat-dropped, watching Ikkatsu jogging to catch up with them, one of his family's wig company bags in hand. _So they're dressing up here too? Tami's company only makes women's wigs and toupees...(9) Oh for the love of-they can't be that dedicated to pleasing women, to stoop down and cross-dress as one? It's only healthy if it's a lifestyle or cosplay, not as a-a mutation of cosplay-Ugh, Beni and Tsuki have been making me read way too much shoujo lately! _She massaged her temples, momentarily losing her temper and threw down her two Queens with extra force than necessary.

* * *

"Ow! Ikkatsu, please don't stab my head with needles," Haruhi winced again and he threaded another hairpin though the wig and into her hair. _Mother in Heaven, why did I agree to this? ...Oh yeah, Kyouya-senpai promised to cut another fourth of my debt off if I dressed like this after the club wished me good luck on opening Suzushima-senpai's heart. Wonder how I'll put that off,_ the brunette sweat dropped, twitching from another pin.

"Sumimasen, Haruhi, but this would have been easier if _someone_ hadn't cut off your hair. And Kyouya, don't make her pay if she loses any pins. They're mine anyway, so it's alright," he added as he adjusted the wig one more time. Ikkatsu glanced at the open make-up kit beside Haruhi, frowning.

"We should have gotten Emi-Rina(10) to put the make-up on you instead. She'd brighten up your plain face," the crease on his forehead remained, then a light blush forming, "And Kohaku would have fitted this dress more to your body. Not like Mini can, but-"

The twins huffed, elbowing their fellow host, "Are you saying our work's not good enough?" Hikaru then scrunched up his face, "Wait, Haku and Mini are tailors?" Kaoru imitated his brother, "And who's Emi-Rina?"

Haruhi chuckled, "That's Emi's legal Japanese name. She hates it when we call her 'Rina' so we chose 'Emi' instead, except Haku-itoko when she wants to irritate her."

"And Kohaku doesn't sew much," Ikkatsu added, his blush and crease line gone as he hurried on some final touches, "She's just good at matching clothes and mending them. Mini and Emi are the true seamstresses. Well, more Mini-senpai actually. Emi's more on accessories. But-"

"Guys! You shouldn't be in here all at once. You need to being entertaining the guest-" Tamaki stopped speaking, seeing his 'daughter'. _YAY! _Chibi-Tamaki squeaked at his inner chibi-Haruhi companion, _She's in a dress! She's in a dress...She's in a dress?!_

The king backed off to his corner, saying, "Cutecutecutecute," in his head, repeatedly.(11)

* * *

By now, many of the guests were in the patio area, preferring to be up close for the fireworks show rather than stay inside with the other guests and hosts. It was less than thirty seconds before midnight when Kohaku saw a spark

Kohaku gasped, grabbing her chips, "The fireworks are about to go off. Let's watch."

"Pyromaniac," Moya and Sara sighed, then followed her carrying theirs as well.

Emi shrugged, "Tsk, either that, or she ate that sugary rich people chocolate and got on one of her highs again. Only time I hate that she stops acting stuck up and lets down her hair. Scary chocoholic overly-polite..." She began ranting again under her breath in Spanish, her brother hitting her on the head, still a little cross himself.

Kohaku was standing as close to the fireworks area as she was permitted, murmuring to the countdown. The rest of the group caught up with her and stood by, some less enthusiastic than others. A few more guests joined as well, cheering the countdown.

"10...9...8...7..."

"Anou, isn't that Kanako-san and Tohru-san?" Sayuu squinted at the two figures.

"6...5...4..."

Mini nodded, a little grin on her face, "Don't worry, they'll be fine! Just watch, Sayuu."

"3...2..."

Several females felt other (male) visitors slink their arms around their waists.

"1..."

"Meri-kurisumasu!"

The main fireworks were in the shape of a tree, others giving it a sparkling background of lights. The laughing couple amongst it added the perfect final touch. As for other couples...

"Tategami Ikkatsu," Kohaku's face fully flushed, her carefree mood diminished, "You better have one _Hell_ of a reason why you just groped for me and nearly kissed me. By the way, you knocked off my glasses instead." A loud _smack_ blended in with the booms of the fireworks.

* * *

"Mini, you seriously saw him go for the ass? I'm pretty sure with Ikkatsu's crappy luck and forgetting that she's no longer taller than him had something to do with it. Should have waited after the fireworks to see and make sure he didn't molest her," Emi cracked up, watching the hosts sway and twirl gracefully with the winners. Well, most were, anyway.

Surprisingly, half of the people who won the dances were part of their group.

Tamaki, dancing with the highest point earner, was mysteriously the only couple glistening with a spotlight. Miyako, in Emi's and everyone else in her group's opinions, didn't look as red faced as Kohaku did –insert group snicker-. Kyouya and a medium height third year stepped into a slow sway, both with content smiles on their faces. _Haru doesn't call him the Shadow King for nothing. He's smart for allowing the sole heiress of Japan's second-highest prestigious fine arts academy dance with him._

Sara though with slight approval as she was briefly lifted up in the air, then returned back down by Mori. After she had seen the height fiasco known as the Hani-Sayuu pair, she was determined to get the tallest host to avoid under-arm twirling conflicts. Speaking of the couple, they were doing more of a crack-the-whip game with Hani as the head weaving in and out of the other couples, clutching Usa-chan in one hand. Sayuu held Usa-chan's free hand, apologizing to every couple she accidentally brushed by.

Hikaru and Kaoru were both sharing their dance partners. They each started out with their original 'date'. After a certain amount of time, each twin handed their partner to one another and alternated. Being, well them, the Hitachiin males also slipped in instances where the girls were dancing with one another and they themselves were dancing dangerously close to one another. Once again, this display of brotherly love left several red faced, loss of breath, or activated their Moe form.

Sitting beside her cousin, Haruhi sighed in both relief and defeat. Kohaku looked up at her from her seat on the floor, "So much for paying half of that dept your own, huh? Oh well, at least you finally learned how to waltz." She ran a thought through her head, "I'll get you some ootoro later. …You still owe me a dance, though." Her cousin remained silent, and nodded.

_Ikkatsu must have really pissed her off somehow by the way she's glaring at him and her overtly cheerful small talk…_ Haruhi's forehead creased in concern. She looked down and met her cousin's gaze, "I take it _this_ is your revenge to whatever Ikkatsu did to you?" She pointed to Ikkatsu wearing an irritated face totting an energetic Moya around. Seeing the older girl nod once, she knew it was an unspoken, "Damn right."

Both girls resumed watching the (non-Hitachiin) male-male couple as they waltzed awkwardly.


	4. Spilled Tea

"Haruhita," Emi prodded the other girl's shoulder. She and Haruhi were flopped on their stomachs on the floor, helping each other out with their homework. Sara laid on a chaise lounge, reciting some solutions to Haruhi's chem equation.

On a nearby table, Hikaru and Kaoru were working on a design, giving Haruhi inconspicuous glances over the plans (Hikaru) and sewing machine (Kaoru). Hani was sleeping soundly on a futon, fantasizing about cake. Mm...Strawberry cake. With lots of creamy icing! Mori went...well they (and I) honestly don't know.

(1)On the couch, Tamaki was watching the recently made (edited) video of the group's act:

_"Ikkatsu, I owe you so...ehto, much," Haruhi said robotically as she looked down at her (dripping black ink?) arm, "You are the only one who has been...kind to me in these times of Hell."_

_Ikkatsu (was barely as convincing) looked deeply into Haruhi's eyes, "Haruhi-kun, only you understand-can understand, my true feelings. Thank you so much for lifting...even a fraction of my boredom-I mean burden. I am forever in your debt, my love-What the Hell! I'm not saying th-"_

_Hani cut him off, the pebble he threw barely grazing Ikkatsu's ear._

_"Oh look. The stupid faggot's in love with that poor bitch. Might as well kill two birds with one stone," Hani smirked, his eyes penetrating the two._

_"Mitsukuni, that's enough," Mori grasped his cousin's shoulder, "You're only hurting yourself in the end."_

_"Don't admonish me, Takashi. You want to be punished again?" the smirk grew, showing all of his teeth and malice, "I hate somebody who-"_

White kanji scrolled across the screen.

_"Volume Three of Ki-Ki Ouran Memories. What does Hani hate? Is there a connection between Ikkatsu and Haruhi? Find out in the next volume! In no way related to Uki-Doki Memorials."_

The King cried happy Moe tears as he gobbled up more commoner's microwave popcorn, while the clearly humiliated Ikkatsu hung his head. There was no Sayuu to smother either of them because both she and Mini left as soon as school ended for an early weekend vacation to Mini's holiday resort.

"Please don't call Haruhi by a feminine nickname, Emi-san. Guests will talk," Kyouya didn't bother looking up from his work as he typed the day's earnings from his black notebook in the laptop.

"Oops, lo siento," she apologized quickly before turning to Haruhi again, "Remember earlier, before Renge-san came, today? When you said you were visiting the graves with Kohaku later this week?"

_- Emi's Flashback-_

"...You'll give it to me?"  
Sara looked up, noticing that she actually took the sweet, "Is it for Kotoko-san, Haru?"

(2)Haruhi smiled, "Hai, it is. Kohaku, toto-san, and I are paying our respects to boubo, Kohaku's senpu, and her deceased keifu at their graves later this week."

Emi rolled her eyes and asked, "Does that mean that bum's finally going to visit us again? About time."

"How horrible! Our Haru-kun first had to deal with that rude B Class girl then a homeless person!" the guests were quick to jump to conclusions, for 'bum' equaled 'hobo' in their minds. Besides, the new girl was clearly friends with this 'Kohaku' so this clarified the matter. Then they bombarded Haruhi with gifts for her to present at the graves.

_-End Flashback-_

"I remember," Haruhi responded shortly, her eye twitching in irritation.

"Um...yeah. In between the insults, you got the date wrong. Remember, both of you agreed on today weeks ago. Just in case she's trying to weasel out of it though, I threatened (3)mi tonto hermano that I'd call mamá and papá about the piano he caught on fire if he didn't drag Kohaku out of that club of hers," Emi grinned maniacally, her eyes glowing.

Ikkatsu's head snapped up, "Does that mean she's still mad at me?"

Hikaru peeked over the sketches that hid his face and looked like he was smirking. Kaoru mirrored his brother's expression as he added the last few touches to his masterpiece, "I think Renge was right about one thing, Ikky: You obviously, _painfully_ have a crush on Haku-kun..."

Sara tilted her head back and turned it towards the twins, "Eh? When was this? Bet his face was hilarious when she said that. Tell me what happened!"

_-Ikkatsu's Flashback-_

Renge shoved a cookie in his hands. _Cookie!_ Ikkatsu thought happily and bit into it.

"...Kuso. Thank Kami-sama I have dental insurance." Ikkatsu turned to Haruhi to ask for her cookies when he saw Kaoru (o.o?) lick Haruhi's face. "Guys! Come on. Kohaku's already mad at me about the whole Christmas thing. And _you're_ the ones who told me to pull a move in the first place! Just stop the act for a while, 'kay?"

"I agree with your brother!" Tamaki (_oh he's finally out of it_) grabbed Haruhi's face, "Don't let them do that! You're supposed to push them away, _not_ let them sexually harass you!"

Ikkatsu came to his friend's (Haruhi) defense, "What about you? Technically, you're acting like a child molester right now. Your actions scream 'incest' more than Hikaru and Kaoru do."

"Sexual harassment-Child mo-INCEST?! What about your brothers?" Tamaki raved pointing at them wildly, "They should not be behaving in such a manner in front of their sister, let alone _to _her! If I'm an incestuous child harasser, they're-they're-"

He was interrupted by Renge pushing him carelessly aside.

"Everyone's characteristics are horrible! Except Kyouya-sama," Renge snapped, "You lack flaws. ANGST! Girls faint at handsome men with a traumatic past! Eventually, these pointless acts of yours are going to get tiresome. Are you trying to make Kyouya-sama bankrupt?! We'll remake your characters starting today! Ikkatsu, you're first!"

"Nani?" _It's like going to those anime conventions with the Haku and the others all over again, _Ikkatsu thought dully.

"You have too much of a relaxed persona and are unusually sociable with everyone!" Renge shook him roughly by the collar, though he was still unfazed, "Even though you don't look like you're paying attention, you're still aware of your surroundings. And your name is too obviously punned, it's not funny. What kind of stupid character is that?! At best, Tategami Ikkatsu, you are poorly made OC! We have to fix you! (_What am I, a dog?_) First off, your love for Sonata-chan! It's too obvious!"

Ikkatsu fell back as if he were shot, _Why that little-_

"Make it more subtle. Be a tease and flirt with other girls! But keep up your front as a laid back and friendly Host," Renge patted his head.

"What front?" he drawled, trying to not roll his eyes (or strangle her rudely).

"Underneath it all, you're worried about everyone's opinion towards you. Also, you actually use to have gynophobia before you met your angel, Kohaku! But you became a host to get over that and your broken heart. CAN'T YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?!" Renge then moved on to her next victim. (4)

_-End Flashback-_

"Damn, that was a little harsh," Emi muttered then snickered, "Makes Haku-kun looked tame compared to her though, ne?"

"What was that, Emi-_kouhai_?"(5) Kohaku appeared behind her, an unidentifiable aura emanating from her, with poor Mani (whom she was dragging by the necktie) choking in its very midst. Her knuckles were white as she gripped a paper bag (_probably her gift_) in her other hand. Haruhi and Emi stood up stiff in unison, Sara giving them a side-glance. She turned on her side, preferring not to be called up as a witness of the future Varela double homicide.

"S-she...said...nothing," Mani tugged his tie out of her hands, grabbed his sister's arm, and hid both of them behind the Kohaku repellent (her cousin). Haruhi sighed and shook them both off. Jamming her books back into her bag plus a few quick good-byes, and she would be able to get out of this crazy room. _Wonder what Kohaku's giving this year,_ Haruhi mused as she picked up the last of her belongings and walked towards Kohaku leaning on the twin's table, _I think she_ _said Tamaryokucha tea with-_

"Haruhi! Try this on before you go," Hikaru threw a dark pink sundress with off-white embroidery (in various complicated patterns that the authoress can't name) at her. Kaoru produced (from who knows where) a handful of -girly- accessories and began to corner her. Kohaku sighed, set down her things, and was about to intervene. Both former couch occupants strode over as well, to (_see Haruhi in a dress_) separate Hikaru and Kaoru from their 3-D paper doll.

In Ikkatsu's eagerness to help Kohaku (he wanted to see Haruhi in a dress still), he tripped on his own feet, bumped into Tamaki and made him stumble forward. At the same time, Hikaru and Kaoru were caging in Haruhi when one of them collided with the blonde. This caused him to fall face first into the table in front of him, rattling it, and...

-You know the rest.

The paper bag tipped over, its fragile contents (three small circular glass jars) breaking. Everything on the small table was soaked with the green tea (thankfully, Kaoru had already packed up their sewing machine). Designs, fabrics, and a certain Usa-chan were stained with dark blotches.

Kohaku pinched her nose, looked up, and muttered to the ceiling, "If you guys up there didn't want tea, could you have please told me in a different manner? Bet Kotoko-ba-chama(6) put you up to this..."

"We..." the twins stared (in mock horror) at the tea-covered stuffed animal, "We've done it now. It was tono's fault though."

"You baka! You ran into me! Didn't they?!" Tamaki pointed at the devils, wildly searching the room for witnesses.(7)

"I'll just bring something else then. Pretty sure I have time to make siopao."  
"Kohaku, I can replace the tea Tamaki spilled. We have some leftover leaves, if you want."  
"Tamaki-senpai, technically it was you, Ikkatsu, and Kaoru."  
"Haruhi, if that tea stains the table, it will be added to your debt."  
"Shouldn't Kohaku pay for it, Kyouyito-senpai? She brought the tea."  
"I'm not a witness."  
"It was you."  
"See? Mani, Ikky, AND Haruhi agree with us!"  
-"Don't put the blame on us, tono. She _did_ try running away."  
-"Besides, you want to see her in the sundress as much as we do. Even Ikky does."

Ikkatsu aimed a teacup at Kaoru's head ("Haruhi, that's another 10000 yen.") from the counter, where he was helping Kohaku make Gyokuro tea.

"Ah, shut it, Kaoru."

"Hikaru."

"…That's what I said."

"Our guests are gone for the day, so you can be as noisy as you want," Kyouya pushed up his glassed, "But won't Hani-senpai wake up and see what you've done?

Everyone (well, the ones lacking sense) froze and slowly turned to the living embodiment of cuteness. Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru took refuge behind Sara's lounge. She left abruptly at Kyouya's last sentence.

Haruhi shrugged, "Well we can't do anything about it now. Better tell him now than later."

"Just wake him up and apologize," Kohaku set the remaining tea leaves down and glided over to the senior, "I'll tell him. It wasn't very smart of me to leave fragile items within a ten meter radius of the Hitachiin. Wonder if a chocolate covered strawberry four tier cake would make it up for now..."

Her hand was mere centimeters away from Hani's shoulder before Haruhi nudged her, pointing at the three males flapping their arms wildly, possibly whispering, "DANGER ZONE! DANGER ZONE!"

"Alright…I'll leave Hani-senpai to you. Please give him my apologies," she bowed her head to Tamaki, Kyouya, and Mori clearly misreading their actions as it was none of her business. Kohaku walked briskly towards Ikkatsu and took the tiny box from his hands, and coughed in embarrassment. "Sumimasen about Christmas. I owe you for the tea. Still friends?" Without waiting for an answer, she gave him a brief one arm hug, grabbed the rest of her things, and called out to her cousin, "I'll be in the car. Call me when you settle things."

Ikkatsu was still staring at the door after Kohaku left and Emi felt it was her right as a friend to snap him out of it. She rolled up one of her notebooks and thwacked him on the head, "Oi! Lover boy, care to join us back on Earth?" Most of her remark was silenced by the lounge chair refugees "shh"-ing her loudly. She didn't bother asking why Haruhi was in (an adorable) bunny costume.

Emi pouted, "What, afraid you'll wake you Hani-senpai? You should have taken Haku's offer and let her buy a cake to soften him up. Besides, he'd understand. Watch-"

"No!" Tamaki 'whispered' too loudly. This (being Tamaki's fault and no one else's may the authoress rub it in his face) was the reason Haninozuka Mitsukuni woke up. As the blonde bed head rose from his slumber, three idiots wailed.

"Oh, Kami-sama!"

"We won't make it!"

"Fine! Substitute Strategy Number 2!"

Emi was jerked down behind the chair by one of the twins for her own 'safety' while Tamaki threw a bear at the arising senior. Mani watched with mild interest in the background, completely ignored by the authoress in an effort to highlight main characters for the time being.

"Aw! You have a Kuma-chan too," Emi gushed, still unaware of the danger she was currently in. "Hani-senpai would love-" Said Kuma-chan was just slammed down to the ground roughly by one loli-shota.

"…Or not," she muttered, watching him approach the soiled bunny. _Why the Hell did we leave it out in the open? We would have had much more stalling time…_

"Who dirtied Usa-chan?" a wave of authority seeped from Hani, his expression literally indescribable. Emi's eyes rolled in her sockets and fainted. Haruhi tried shaking her awake (Good God, there were three morons yelling right beside her, how did she _not_ become conscious?) with the help of Mani, who was the only calm one behind the couch. Meh, he's just too much of a man to admit that he'd going to have bunny-induced nightmares from now on.

"Usa-chan really wanted to have some tea. Ikkatsu went to get some towels for the spill," Mori stated blandly as Ikkatsu walked into the doorway with several towels. No, he was not waiting outside the doorway in fear until he heard the safety signal!

While Mori helped Hani clean up the rest of the mess, the twins and Tamaki were pointing fingers at Ikkatsu, shouting, "Traitor!" They paid no attention at all to the still unconscious Emi.


	5. Yasuo

After school club hours were over, the Host Club was 'preparing' to leave. Kyouya was typing up some records of blackma-I mean confidential files. The twins and Sara were huddled over a computer, sniggering.(1) Mini was with her usual host and his cousin, sitting around a half finished second box of strawberry cake. Things were normal as normal in the Music Room for after-after hours except one thing. She was currently seated between two girls, another facing her.

Kohaku nibbled on a raspberry danish awkwardly. _How did they manage to drag me here again for after-club tea?_

_-Flashback-_

"If Emi came here as much as she does the Host Club, she'd have been in shape by now! Sara may have the same attendance record, but she can keep up at least. She beat several of the best in a matter of minutes on a five-on-one match."

"Ah...but you did give both of them off days during Hosting hours, since you did the same with Mini and other Host Club customers in our club. What makes Emi different from the rest?"

"Miss High School-Year 2 vice president, do you just want an excuse not to see her face as often?" Kohaku sandwiched her face with her hands, 'appalled'.

"Yes, but so do you."

Kohaku and Sayuu were chatting about the club's chances of winning against their competing schools when the-one-they-spoke-of appeared.

"Oh thanks guys," Emi stuck out her tongue, "Way to have faith in your friend and teammate. Anyways, I'm here to-Sara! Mini! Grab them now, grab them now!"

At the first warning, two females shot from the shadows, jumping the pink hatted one and odango haired one.

_-End Flashback-_

"Kohaku, you suck!" Emi whined for the seventh time in twelve minutes as she held an ice pack to her swollen eye, "You gave me a freakin' black eye! Is this any way to treat a friend who merely wanted to rebond her two discomfited friends?!"

Kohaku sipped some tea, wincing at the bitterness, "It is if said friend is a complete moron. Besides, Tami-kun and I are friends again. I made him swear on Yasuo-tama's grave that there would be no more middle school relapses. Hm, needs something sweet or spicy..." Looking up from her cup of tea, she saw many of her friends give her appalled looks but only bothered the ask Haruhi, "Hihi-itoko, what's wrong?"

Haruhi gave her cousin a thoughtful look compared to the other's look of disbelief, "Well, I was just wondering why you chose Yasuo-tama's... You could have chosen Kotoko-kaa or Takumi-oji. They would have scared him more."

Tamaki, being the spineless blonde that he was, snuck into the circle and whispered Emi rather loudly, "Who's this 'Yasuo' that my daughter clear adores more than her dotting father enough to give the intimate honorific '-tama'?!"

Emi, still slightly peeved, removed the ice pack from her eye revealing the bruised area to scare him and said in an unnatural Kohaku-on-defense-like death-drone, "Tamaki-san, if you want to reproduce _ever_ you will shut up and find out for yourself. Those two get engrossed in their own little world sometimes and spill out useful crap. Please wait until then or I will shove this ice pack down your throat." Tamaki nodded, crossing his legs unconsciously.

Beside them, the conversation between the cousins grew to include Ikkatsu with some sugar cubes and Kyouya with his trademark black notebook taking notes. So far, he'd gathered that their mothers were sisters (_So, she is related to wealth, somewhat..._), Kohaku lived on her own (Her file is locked for public access.), Haruhi nor Ikkatsu can ice skate (Kyouya mentally added to have a gathering at a skating complex, so that more guest would come to teach them), Kohaku had 4 sibling, 3 stepsiblings, and 2 half-siblings (That's how many were named so far anyway...), and Haruhi was in the Audio Mixer Club both in elementary and middle school. Kyouya remained hidden in plain sight, waiting for another tidbit of info.

"But the only one I've ever met is Yasuo-tama..."

"That's the point. He'd scare you the most. Remember, he hated your guts."

"True. Oji-san would have welcomed him with open arms. Yasuo-tama—"

"But who's Yasuo-tama?!" Tamaki butted in childishly, no longer able to take the suspense. Sara turned her head sharply, almost giving herself whiplash.

A fierce miasma clouded the room.

"Told you to keep yer trap shut..." Emi muttered, pressing the ice pack to her eye in exasperation. The twins stared first at her, then the other girls, and finally at Sara.

Contrasting from her usually calm, fun-loving demeanor, Sara's eyes were glowing with...pride? As she walked steadily towards Tamaki, everyone who wasn't stupid moved away. This is obviously why Tamaki was the only one remaining in the sitting area.

Finally stopping in front of Tamaki, Sara grinned, adjusted to a stance, and hit several pressure points with two of her fingers. Mini, who had retreated with the others to the computer, put another piece of cake into her mouth, swallowed, and stuck out her tongue, "Finally, the wrath of the Ice Queen. Haku-kuuuun! You lost, she cracked, I get anpan." She said the last part in a sing-song voice, disturbing several of the people beside her. They watched as the girl continued to press pressure points, the twins betting on how long before she hit his jewels.

"Isaneko-sama, shall I stop her?" Sayuu cracked her knuckles, a look of regret on her face.

Kyouya waved his hand, turned back to his work with a glint in his glasses, "No. Clearly, Sakira-san wants to make a point and we do not wish to displease her, do we?" He was obviously peeved that Tamaki had prevented him from gathering more data.

Tamaki yelped as the twins called, "Cough it up, Haruhi! Give us a hug!"

"N-ngh-NO! My daughter...!" Tamaki faded into unconsciousness. The last he saw was Haruhi in an incest sandwich with a scowl on her face, Emi arguing with Mini, Kohaku looking up as she shook her head, the others fading away into their usual, and Sara storming off angrily.

_A week later..._

SLAM!

Sara's bare heel made brutal contact with her fifteenth opponent, causing him to crash into the ground. Kohaku called a knock-out, summoning another of her members to go up against the hot-headed junior.

Mani sweat-dropped, watching the next poor soul go by him. "I know you guys wanted mi hermana and Sara to attend more often, but I'm kinda missing the old schedule..." Beside him, Moya cheered for Sara as she dodged and kneed her opponent in the stomach. Sayuu gave her subordinates a concerned look and nodded in agreement. _She's not even using any weapons against them and is still causing this much injury..._

The president and founder of the Shinobi Club, Sonata Kohaku, raised her arm once more, "Out-of-bounds. Default winner: Shimazu Sakira." Lowering her arms, she clapped her hands together, "Okay everyone. Time for a fifteen minute break. Sara and other core members, please come with me."

There were twenty core members, ten boys and ten girls, out of the seventy-plus members of the Shinobi Club, but everyone with common sense knew by the look their president gave the strawberry that this meant her close friends. The members, even the other cores, didn't care because a) Ate(2) Kohaku was unbiased, blunt, and shouldn't be questioned since she was practical although a bit unorthodox at times, b) She went out of line with her club frequently which was fine with them as the club was made primarily out of non-A Class misfits, and c) Hopefully, that snobbish bitch would be kicked out regardless of her talent.

With Sayuu in the middle, Mani and Moya made their way towards Kohaku and Sara. Once meeting up with them, Kohaku led them to the balcony, overlooking the windswept hill, where core meetings were normally held, bowed to her members, and swiftly closed the doors, locking them electronically. After a few deep breaths to calm herself down, Kohaku could distinctively hear the rest of the club cheering on the other side of the door.

Sara arched an eyebrow, "May I ask what this special little meeting is about?" She met Kohaku's even gaze with a glare. The Italian-descendant knew full well why the President had gathered only their circle of tight knit friends. Not because it was personal; Sara could care less even if her darkest secrets came out (unless it was the dirt Kohaku had collected about her over the years). Those facts, even what Kohaku had, needed grounded proof and that was something only she could produce. It was private because of the very reason of that needed proof. She had perfected her image as the heir of both the Shimazu bank chain and Pavoni artistic empire. The strawberry was not about to let her temper-nor that insulting blonde-make her ruin it.

"Hell yes you can," Mani thumped the back of her head earning her wrath, "I helped Kohaku make this club for people to meet each other and relieve stress. Not for you to cause everyone else stress."

Moya swatted his best friend's hand away and replaced it with his to pat his other best friend on the back gently, "Sara, we know you respect Yasuo-tama very much. As much as he loved to beat idiots who offended anyone he was close to, scold his loved ones for beating them up instead of letting him give the lesson, and...crap, I forgot my train of thought..."

Kohaku's frown twitched up slightly, hearing her friend reminisce about her late stepfather.

"What Moya-kun meant," Sayuu picked up the conversation, "Is that Yasuo-tama would be very unpleased if you keep using the club as your live punching bag and would want you to at least explain to Tamaki-san why you paralyzed him. Well, I think that's what he's trying to say..."

"Well, it's obvious why she paralyzed him. Her family would be sued by one of the Japanese most powerful if she had left any evidential bodily harm such as a bruise or broken bone," Kohaku stated impassively, earning several wooden weapons to be thrown at her.

Moya shook his head and laughed, "Not the legal definition, Haku-kun! Jeez, sometimes I wonder why Haru-kun is the only one choosing the path of corrupt courts known as the Judicial System...please don't answer that."

Mani stood up and stretched, strolling towards the doors. Putting a hand on one of the handles, he turned his head slightly to speak to Sara over his shoulder, "So, you gonna skip out on practice tomorrow or what? Because as the high school division third year vice, I can let it slide..."

Sara looked at Mani, drifted her gaze over to Sayuu's concerned eyes, then to Moya's encouraging ones, and finally settled to Kohaku's patient stare. She sighed. These people knew her since fifth grade, for goodness sake's. The girl was lucky Ikkatsu wasn't there to back them up or she'd be totally screwed over with his flat, "I've known you since we were in diapers so don't you dare make me use that against you," speech.

"...Fine."

Mani nodded in approval and jiggled the door handle.

"...Kohaku, we got locked out again."

_Next day after after school club hours..._

"Emi-san...Hello? Emi-Rina-san!" Kaoru shouted in the girl's ear.

She shook her head, blinking, still slightly in a daze. Finally, she asked, "Wait-How the heck do you know my Japanese name? Ikki-baka..." Emi turned her head to the Host across the room, her eye twitching slightly in annoyance.

"Haruhi squeeled not me," Ikkatsu put a stack of folded tablecloths in a cupboard before his hand was sandwiched between the cupboard and its door. His eye twitched as well, stating in a strained voice, "What...was...that f-for? Ow! Dammit, I already told you it was Haru-chan!" He tried to get his poor hand to safety but every attempt ended with the door closing on his hand.

"You're lying!"

"No I'm-ow! not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Ow! No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"No! I mean-wait! Bastard, you tricked me!"

Haruhi sat on the couch, waiting for her cousin to pick her up, and watched the fight, "Wow, this is the most animated I've seen Emi be this week."

The twins sat with her, one on each side.

Hikaru nodded, "Yeah. Emi's no fun when Sara-senpai's not here. She just sits there-"

"-with a blank look on her face-" Kaoru added.

"-snapping at the guest."

"That's kind of funny though..."

"...A little, I guess."

"That's my imouto-san you're trashing," Mani towered over them with a glare. He was dragging a certain strawberry-blonde by the wrist. Beside him, Kohaku and Sayuu were giving Sara a stern look. In retaliation, she turned her head, her hair hitting them in the face.

Kohaku slapped them away, an annoyed look on her face, "Sakira..."

"Fine!" Sara pried her wrist away from Mani's and walked over to Tamaki, who was currently seated at the table as Kyouya, frozen in fear. Who wouldn't after getting the crap beaten out of you for no (apparent) reason? Sara glanced back at her group of friends, which had increased to include Emi and Ikkatsu (whom had stopped their bickering to see what was up).

The quarter Italian eyed Tamaki's 'guards', Hani and Mori, giving them an apologetic look to get them to back off. Sara had no worries whatsoever about Kyouya interfering. In fact, she was pretty sure he was recording this with his computer (via camera or recorder) for either future blackmail on her family or something of that sorts. Oh well, that'd just enhance her image, honesty-wise anyway. She returned her eyes to Tamaki and sighed, _Here it goes. Just do it as you rehearsed in the mirror and your friends will stop nagging you, Sakira!_

In the background, she could distinctively hear Mini saying, "Haku-kun, I put a bag of Ovalteenies down if she blunders. Can I get freshly baked anpan from Haru-kun if you lose?"

Sara restrained from rolling her eyes, and stared at the terrified fellow junior. _Moron, if I were you, I'd have ran or K. myself by now._ "Tamaki-san," Sara began to recite her pre-written 'apology from the heart' apology, "Please forgive me for beating you up-I mean, paralyzing you last week. Sorry for that slip of tongue, by the way. It'd be rude to say _I_beat _you_ up." She grinned meekly, making sure each pause was deliberate and every syllable had a purpose. _Hopefully, this looks convincing to most of them. Probably not the senpai, Kyouya won't give a care, and the twins will probably just respect the act a little if they do catch on._

"I've been stressed since I transferred from Roberia. Club time and homeroom study hall are my only stress-free time of the day...well other than lunch," Sara shrugged and lifted her shoulder an exact 1.5 centimeters, "To be frank, your voice kind of annoys me. Like how animals are annoyed every time Mini tries to shove food into their mouths and kills-"

After saying her name, she waited for Mini to interrupt her. _3...2...1..._

"You akuba! You mean old woman!" the blonde leaped from the couch and latched her tiny arms around the taller girl's body (completely forgetting her martial arts training, I might add), "I bet you were on your period that day too! Ha, probably why you ran out right after. Felt the cramps as soon as you got over him carelessly-"

_Time to shut her up..._ Sara stopped her feigned struggle and grasped Mini's arms firmly. _Didn't expect her to call me an old bat, what are we, elementary kids?_ "Sayuu-chan, could you please take care of her?" she held out the blonde in offering and turned to Tamaki once the exchange was done. _Not as many reasons as I hoped, couldn't let her get in the direction of Yasuo-tama though...hopefully it was enough._

She put her hand behind her head and smiled with her eyes closed, "Oops, sorry you had to see that. Anyway...I guess all of that (she made some small circular hand gestures) just piled up, and sort of got aimed at you. Would you please forgive me?" _And get Kohaku off of my back! If I get her, I get most of them. She at least accepts fake apologies just as long as people like you beli-_

"Ashikarazu(3), Sara-hime, but I cannot accept an insincere apology."

Sara's eyes widened. _B-but how...I'm in his freakin' class! For the love of God, he believed that old 'my butler used my homework as kindling' excuse from Manabe and it's not even cold out!_ Thoughts wildly processed in her mind, scrambling for an excuse.(4)

"P-Pardon?" _That should give me a few seconds..._

Tamaki turned to Kyoya, "Kaa-san, could you please show her what's on your screen."

The dark-haired boy complied and turned it so she could see it but at the same time be able to see where his mouse was going. _T-That's-_

"That's my school student file!" Sara façade dropped and was replaced with her real emotions (really pissed off ones), "It was password-protected by Sonata Ltd. Co.! Did you hack into it?!"

She bit her tongue quickly. _Baka! If you want them to forgive you, don't give them a reason not to!_ "I mean," the strawberry quickly changed tactics, "if you had wanted to see them, all you had to do was ask-"

"But they did. Me," said the very person whose family ran one of Japan's best (though commonly looked over due to its modesty) computer engineering companies and personally password-protected several of her friend's private information, including Sara's.

_Nani?! You ama! You bitch! You're suppose to be on my side. Don't you care that that moron's using your stepdad's personal name? Do-_

The silent rant via eye contact was discontinued by Kohaku when she turned to Kyouya and gave him instructions. "Before you press anything, make sure you type in 'tsubaki' again just in case you pass your ten-minute mark. After that, you should be okay as long as there isn't an information grabber software in there to copy or process her files. Even though I gave you access to her student file from the school's online "Student Info." Page, this is still personal information after all. All Sonata customers are given a safety net of some sorts; hers is in the event her mandatory student profile is opened, no outside program can collect anything on her page. You probably didn't have time to handwrite much though since her page has a lag on it. Plus, I didn't give you the password to the rest of her profile, so you can stop giving me the evil eye, Sakira-san."

She pointedly smirked at the flaming girl. "Don't worry, I'll reset and change everything later, but come on: you need this. He's my stepfather. I'm not gonna go into some sappy crap about how each of us felt after he died, but you have to get over it. Do you see (5)Tsuki, Beni, or me lashing out at people every time he's mentioned?"

Sara remained quiet and instead focused on her info scrolling on Kyouya's screen. He'd done as Kohaku told him, plus some more that she probably instructed beforehand. He'd gone from her Home student profile to her Hobbies and the link Yasuo Bayani-Rizalino Ortaliz Kayabya.

The twins squinted to read the name; Kaoru was the first to recognize it. He turned to Kohaku with an amused look, "You never said your stepfather was _the_ renowned photographer Yasuo. He worked with our kaa-san a lot."

Hikaru nodded in agreement and pointed at the name, "God, you stepdad had a long name."

Kohaku shrugged, "Only my half-siblings inherited his name, so I have no problem with it. I did get part of it added to my legal documents though. Besides, if you think his name's a mouthful, give Mani's full name a try. His name is short compared to Emi's though. Emelina Maria de-"

Emi covered the four-eyed girl's mouth with her hand, her smile twitching, "Please, for the love of all that is pure and good, shut your mouth and just look at the damn screen!"

Just as she said that, the Yasuo screen finally loaded, revealing a medium-sized paragraph written (_By my parents, from the looks of the gloating._ Sara mentally added as she looked at the first sentence) along with a few pictures.

"You were one of his students?" Kyouya raised an eyebrow, "Funny, I've never considered you to be the photo-taking type. More like the photogenic type, Sakira-san."

Tamaki skimmed over the page, muttering some things that interested him, "...Started in her fifth year...friends with the second in line Sonata heiress and also her siblings and stepsiblings...devoted student...one of his best..."

Emi, still keeping a hold on Kohaku's mouth, sat on to of the couch, using the other's head as a pillow. "Hm…your parents really put emphasis on your connections and achievements, didn't they?"

Sara gave a curt nod, her face blank.

"Was devastated at his death...witnessed it and underwent a period of shock...still marched forward...mastered darker points of photography...made full recovery in thera-"

"Nani?!" Sara cut Tamaki's view of the computer and saw for herself, "They put-but why-Those attention-seeking little-!" Her shoulders shook in anger, a sign she was going to make someone pay one way or another. (She left it up to her parents to make her profile, unlike some students. This is the first time she's actually seen it.)

Tamaki gripped her shoulder, trying to comfort her. Kohaku raised an eyebrow, _From what I've observed, Suou-sama, no matter how much of a babbling baka that he is, can be tactful when the need arises. Reminds me of the idiot currently restraining me…_

Sara glared at the screen, still unaware of Tamaki's presence. _I can't believe the audacity those two have of putting something like that on here! Who cares if it's password-protected! They can't exploit my emotions for sympathy. As their eldest child...am I only a publicity pawn?_

A chibi-Kohaku then popped into her head, "You know, Sara, you're being a hypocrite right now. You tried to manipulate several of us for your apology act to Suou-sama just so we wouldn't nag you. You're a very caring person deep down; problem is you're a calculating bitch first and foremost."

_And I'm the hyprocrite? You set me up!_ Sara's anger had transferred targets, but nevertheless had cooled off. She'd finally noticed Tamaki looming over her and looked at him questioningly.

"Sara-hime, I now understand. Kayabya-san was someone you looked up to and held in high regard. It was underhanded of us to hack into your school profile. Please forgive_me_ for intruding on that intimacy and your privacy..."

Kohaku mused, _For a moron, he really is sincere about everything he does-_

"Between a student and her teacher. A sacred bond of learning and trust!" Tamaki raised his arm dramatically, the other around Sara's shoulders who was frozen in surprise from the sudden outburst, "Passing secrets of an art generation to generation! Protecting it with your very lives. Letting no one know or interfere! What..."

Kohaku listened as Tamaki ranted on and on, making Sara move along with him. The odango-styled girl mentally signed, _But at the same time, too energetic and spontaneous to actually hold on to it for long. That's how you lure and take captive many of your Host Club guest. Let's see how long you can take hold of my friends with the same attitude though, Suou-sama. Mini...Sayuu...Haruhi...Emi...can you grasp Sara, for real this time?_

She watched Sara slap away Tamaki's hand and playfully argue with him. Despite the words coming out of her mouth, the small smile on her face betrayed the strawberry.

Emi finally removed her hand from Kohaku's mouth, putting a mock disgusted look on her face as she wiped it on her skirt. Watching on with the brunette, she laughed along with her friends and the other hosts. She jumped down from her seat and whispered to Kohaku, "You know what, Miss Meddler? I think you were right about Yasuo-tama and Tamaki-chama sharing similar personalities. It's been a while since someone outside our circle could see through Sara and confront her...without getting beaten up too much anyway."

* * *

**Omake 2:** Tamaki's Ven Diagram

"Kaa-san! Look how similar you and Sara-hime are!"

Tamaki produced a board from thin air and began to write:

"1) Calculating and manipulating others actions, 2) Pressured by family standards, 3) Says opposite or veiled exaggeration of what you think, 4) Perfectionist, 5) Has a scary real smile, 6) Is closing in on me, 7) Looks really mad, 8) Is taking out a blunt object..."

Haruhi looked at her cousin, "Senpai doesn't know when to quit, does he?"

"Nope, not one bit," Kohaku shook her head, shielding both of their eyes so as not to be homicide witnesses.


End file.
